Lisa:

I rise and shine in the dark, make my bed and whistle my way to work. Each morning isn’t quite this easy. Legal matters are on my mind. I haven’t seen my daughter in two years. My teeth hurt. One year ago I didn’t have a bed. Now I have new blue flannel sheets… On the bus, I read the Kite Runner. Amazing how a boy’s troubles in Afghanistan can ease my California concerns. These days I escape with words, not chemicals… I manage the deli at Ralph’s and am in and out of the freezer all day. I am 45 years old and not as strong as I was. Today is payday. I get a money order for rent, cash for expenses, and put the rest in savings. I have been at Henderson House for three months and saved $600. I used to live paycheck to paycheck. I splurge and buy a colorful card for my daughter… Back in San Clemente I meet with my case manager. She encourages me to attend a workshop on nutrition. I used to survive on dollar burgers and church meals. I am tired of fast food. I am also tired of manual labor. I schedule a meeting to talk about careers and education… I pick up the mail. My offer for back taxes has been accepted and they have outlined a payment plan. It will be tight, but I can manage… Back at my apartment my roommates offer me a hot and healthy dinner. I flop on the couch. The Angels are playing. The first pitch: a swing and a miss. I can relate. The next one’s outside. The batter is patient and waits. I am learning to do the same. The third pitch is right down the middle. He swings. He hits a double. With a little help I think he’ll make it home… With help I think I too can make it home.

Lisa lived first at Friendship Shelter, then at Henderson House
and now has a full-time job and an apartment in San Clemente.

Mark, 48, gets up every morning and rides his bicycle from Henderson House to the San Clemente train station for the ride to Irvine, where he builds exhibits for trade shows. He first learned the skill in a high school wood shop in Ohio, and started out resurfacing kitchen cabinets and building store window displays. His life went downhill fast eight years ago when he discovered Speed and soon after lost his job.

Mark sold drugs to buy drugs and lived alternately on the streets or in motel rooms for three years. He says he realized that he was on his last chance when he found himself living in a drug house located in a garage, with his girlfriend of five years and her two children. He says he wanted more for the children.

Although he kicked his own habit, he went to prison for eight months for dealing. Health problems kept him from working for a while, and when his savings ran out, he found his way to Friendship Shelter. He quickly found a job in his field with a boss who said he believes in second chances. That was a Christmas gift for Mark, who moved soon after to Henderson House, where he is saving money and staying on course to a better life.

Jane once had a family and a stable home, but it fell apart when her husband became an alcoholic. After her divorce, she was given sole custody, but she found herself suffering soon after from a severe undiagnosed illness that incapacitated her for three years. Unable to work, she lost her job and her home, and subsequently, her children, who are living with their father.

Her family on the east coast turned their back on her because they do not believe in divorce.
She lived in her car for a while and then in a shelter in San Diego where she was molested so she left, vowing not to live in a shelter again. After three years she was diagnosed with severe anemia and hypoglycemia and has responded well to treatment.

At Friendship Shelter, she found trust and stability, and after 60-days she graduated to Henderson House. After a stint working as a temporary clerical, a noted real estate firm in Irvine hired her full-time as an administrative assistant in the Human Resources department. She now has medical benefits and an opportunity for career development. She has saved enough to move to an apartment in Lake Forest where she hopes to bring her children home.

Greg does not believe in GPS systems. He advises people to get lost and find their way back. As director of operations for a fleet of limousines, he applies the lessons of his own life to the fine art of driving.

Two years ago, Greg, 45, graduated from Friendship Shelter: first a 60-day stint in the self-sufficiency program, followed by a year at Henderson House. He says this was the experience that put him on the right road, firmly headed to a better future.

“I was raised in a good middle class family in Long Beach, but somehow I never got it. I never learned what it takes to live a good life,” Greg said recently to a gathering of Friendship Shelter supporters.

A history of drugs and alcohol plagued his life and landed him in prison for eight years, but even that didn’t set him straight. “There is no rehabilitation in prison, only incarceration.”

On release from prison, he drifted back to old habits, but when he decided to get sober and get on track, he got himself into Friendship Shelter. A job with a local mechanic ultimately led him to driving and two years later, he manages a fleet of nine other drivers, two of whom are Henderson House graduates he has mentored.

Greg lives in an apartment in Laguna Niguel now, with a fireplace and a cathedral ceiling; a home-base from which he lives a full, satisfying life.

“Someday soon I hope to own something like it of my own.”

He doesn’t smoke cigarettes, drink or use drugs, and says he never will again, because he feels as if he gets it now. Navigating his life with purpose and optimism, he is always moving forward. He only occasionally looks back, if only to remind himself to keep his eyes on the road ahead.

Dan had a home, a wife, two children and work as a pool construction manager for over twenty years. He made good money and enjoyed spending it on boats, motorcycles and other luxuries.

At 38 years of age, his life dissolved into a methamphetamine addiction. He lost his family, his home, his job and his belongings. “I was married 20 years and never cheated on my wife and never did anything shady, but I lost it all.”

Dan turned 39 in a drug rehabilitation center. He turned 40 in county jail, and 41 in state prison. He turned 42 last year at Friendship Shelter and has been clean of drugs for over a year.

When he left prison, he repaid his debts, put six months rent in the bank, and got his job back, but the downturn in the housing industry created a slow-down in his business and his little bit of savings ran out. He was embarrassed at first to move into a shelter, Now he sings the praises of Friendship Shelter as the place that got him back on track, and into an apartment at Henderson House, where he will live for roughly a year. He hopes to get into the trade union, in order to earn a higher wage and benefits, and a new sense of security.

“I never wanted to land on other people, I don’t like to impose,” Dan says. “But I’m grateful for the help I’ve got, and glad to be here.”

Recently, Dan added that he is finally working on the very things he used to get high over, and he’s never felt better about his future.

Carmelita, 58, is a native Californian, and the only one of ten brothers and sisters with a different father, so she was exiled to live with her grandmother at the house next door until her death when Carmelita was 9 years old.

She subsequently lived in five different foster homes until she turned 18, including a few trips to juvenile hall, and went out on her own with a high school degree and a penchant for bars. She barely survived an early pregnancy and subsequently two others, although she never married and says she never permitted drugs or alcohol in her house. Her one constant companion has been depression.

“My greatest fear was that I couldn’t take care of my kids and that’s exactly what happened.”

Carmelita worked for ten years as a file clerk with big box stores, but found herself laid off because of downsizing. Soon after, the owner of the duplex she was renting sold the property and she had no place to go. She lived on unemployment in rented rooms for a time, and then in her car until her meager savings ran out. She was in a state of panic when she came to Friendship Shelter. She worked as a spa attendant for a time, and now, living at Henderson House, Carmelita is exploring options for better work and learning to deal with her anxiety. 

Sue, 55, wasn’t able to work for a long time and now works six days a week to get her life together.

She grew up along the Great Lakes and says she was always drawn to the ocean. She migrated to California 20 years ago and earned a living as a legal secretary and then as an administrator for a national continuing education program, a job she loved. But she also loved to drink and when she totaled her car, she couldn’t get to work and lived on disability for a year. She struggled with her addictions and found it hard to stay on track. Unable to work, she depleted what little savings she had and found herself homeless more than once. At Friendship Shelter she resumed taking anti-depressant medication and took a “get-well” job at the check-out of a local supermarket, where she was soon promoted to an assistant manager at nearly double the minimum wage.

Sue is saving money and hopes to return to an administrative function some time soon. She lives at Henderson House and in her spare time she reads thrillers and mysteries and will soon complete a court-ordered community service project as a result of her DUI.

“Friendship Shelter didn’t feel like a homeless shelter to me,” she says. “And at Henderson House, we’re adults here, sharing apartments. It feels good.”